A few weeks before the 2024 US presidential election, I found myself at a concert venue, screaming and singing “I’m so fucking horny” with 15,000 Sabrina Carpenter fans, the majority of whom were between the ages of 12 and 18 part. Amid the sea of feather boas, rhinestones, and every shade of pink on the color wheel, I was most fascinated to see little girls dressed in adorable homemade costumes, excitedly holding hands with mom, dad, or their cool aunt in a joyous 90-minute celebration of women Temperament and fun.
Of course, Carpenter’s meteoric rise from Disney teen star to pop prodigy has taken a decade, but it’s her playful aesthetic and tongue-in-cheek lyrics that have propelled her to the top of the charts this year. Of course, many were unimpressed by the young pop star’s declaration of her sexuality and expressed concern about her powerful influence on her teenage fan base.
This is an old pop culture story. From Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera sparking unwarranted outrage from parents and experts for daring to sing songs about sex and flashing their midriffs, to Miley Cy Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens have been slut-shamed for their post-Disney public images, and women can’t win if they do the same thing as hinting at their sexual orientation. The irony is maddening considering who is about to ascend to the highest office of power in our country for the second time.
For decades, there have been concerns about the connection between music and mass violence, particularly school shootings, as well as Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion releasing sexually explicit songs and/or There have been many studies on the links between misogyny thrown out by right-wing commentators when it comes to music or music, but it’s a pop star writhing on stage. actually Impact children in any concrete, measurable way?
“In studies of popular songs that contain sexual language and imagery, we have found that they have a significant impact on adolescent attitudes and behaviors,” explains Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York City neuropsychologist and director of Understanding the Mind. “Exposure to music is associated with greater openness to casual sex and early sexual activity,” as well as behaviors such as sexting and sexual activity itself. But other research points to peers and friends being more influential than pop stars when it comes to sexual beliefs and behaviors.
“Suggestive pop songs can have profound effects, but this may be due to social and psychological forces.”
So, what gives? “Exposure to something over and over again does create familiarity and normalization,” says Reena B. Patel, BCBA, board-certified behavior analyst and positive psychologist. “Children are constantly learning and absorbing all new experiences and things as they grow and develop, so what they are exposed to and taught becomes their norm.”
But before you delete your child’s Spotify account entirely, both experts agree that you should use your child’s pop culture interests as a starting point for honest, sex-positive conversations. Yes, even you can cringe when you hear your kids singing “God bless your daddy’s genetics” in their bedroom.
“It’s important to lay the foundation of being able to talk about what children are seeing and being exposed to so that children will value your opinion, hear what you are saying, and be able to base their beliefs and decisions on it,” said Patel. Behavior.
And, let’s be honest, any pop star’s suggestive lyrics are just a small piece of the larger parenting pie, which means it’s important to talk to your kids about these topics early and often. “Parents should have honest conversations about the media their children see and encourage them to think critically about sex, relationships, boundaries, self-esteem and body image,” Hafeez said. “Talking about it is important for them to understand and process what they are seeing. What you see is crucial,” added Patel.
Trust and open communication are the cornerstones of any strong relationship, especially during the teenage years, which paves the way for children to feel supported and empowered, Patel said. “You can talk about each other’s interests, support them, empower them, and teach at the same time,” she said. “Remember, music and pop culture interests are often things kids are really passionate about and identify with, so this may be a very important topic for them.”
Hafiz added: “Promoting art and music encourages self-expression. Parents can guide their children towards constructive topics by talking about concepts rather than scolding them.”
Threatening or punishing them for the media they consume will only create an environment of shame and humiliation, which may only drive them to engage in more dangerous behavior than singing their favorite songs. “Parents should not ignore their children’s interests or denigrate their favorite artists, as this will only create distance,” Hafiz said. “Parents’ negative comments can hinder communication. Parents should not put their children’s interests into perspective without explanation.” impose values on the child” – instead, aim to understand the child’s interests.
I’m 35 years old and I still remember the utterly violent and misogynistic comments my dad made about Spears, whom I’ve loved and respected from the moment I first heard “…Baby One More” (Still does!) Time.
One benefit of monoculture disintegration is that these loud, angry critiques of confident, unapologetic pop divas tend to exist only within their own curated online echo chambers. These puritanical ideas are no longer spread across the evening news and mainstream media, your children can now safely sing along to Sabrina Carpenter and potentially never know that the involuntary person living in the basement is online How much misogyny was brought upon her.
2024 is an incredible year for women in pop music: Beyoncé, Megan, Chappell Roan, Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Olivia Rodrigo, Charli XCX, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, and yes, Sabrina rules The charts and stages attract girls and women of all ages together. When Carpenter addressed the audience at her first concert after the election, she told the audience: “I hope we can bring you a moment of peace, a moment of safety. … For the ladies here , I love you very, very, very much.
When my husband texted me to ask me how Carpenter’s show was, I immediately responded: “It was awesome. I cried. Sabrina is for girls. There’s nothing like finding the joy that music brings There’s nothing like comfort and freedom you can feel deeply or escape from for a while, and that’s what every kid—hell, every one. everyone – It’s worth it, especially now.
