Most women can tell you all about their first period—where they were, how they felt, how they knew what products were right for them, and how they dealt with the inevitable blood stains. However, most men are unable to do this, so menstruation remains a mystery to them. (Hey, you don’t know what you don’t know.) But if you’re a dad, there’s a good chance you’ll have to deal with this at some point as you help your child navigate this uterine milestone. If you’re a single dad, you might want to turn to your female friends to help you orient yourself, or, if you’re a single dad, you might want to turn to Reddit.
On Reddit’s “No Stupid Questions” subreddit, one confused parent wrote…
“I’m a single dad and my daughter (who’s about to be 13) just started her first period,” he began. “Luckily she was at a friend’s house and managed to get a few tampons, but we had nothing at home.
“What do I need to do? Tampons, tampons, or cups? Are there different things for different situations? Should I buy different products with different levels of absorption and let her figure out what’s comfortable? Should I have a special one on hand? Painkillers or just a hot water bottle?
As of press time, the post has received over 2,000 comments offering friendly advice, which is honestly all pretty good! (Maybe it’s even worth bookmarking for anyone who might face a similar situation in the near future…)
Get a variety of period products
Most people agree that while tampons are probably the best product to start with, having a bunch of different varieties of tampons (especially ones with different sizes and absorbency levels) as well as other products like tampons or even menstrual cup or menstrual pad) would be better. After all, while tampons are the easiest product to get the hang of, many people quickly find that they prefer tampons.
“She probably won’t use them right away, but it doesn’t hurt to stock up on tampons and cups,” u/SnoopsMom said. “I prefer tampons without an applicator, but make sure she knows how to use an applicator style tampon too, because I remember my friends and I thought the whole applicator had to go inside you (thank god , before any of us actually get our period). She might want to try it but be too eager to ask.
Period underwear also gets rave reviews from many reviewers, who note that period underwear is less likely to leak and is more convenient (and more environmentally friendly) than pads or tampons.
Don’t forget painkillers and heating pads
Periods can bring with them a host of unpleasant physical symptoms, from cramps to back pain, headaches to breast tenderness and more (as many of us know). Ibuprofen is largely hailed as your period’s best friend because of how well it relieves cramps and other pain, and many people also extol the virtues of heating pads, hot water bottles, and similar products.
“When my daughter got her gift… my girlfriend gave her a stuffed toy that you can microwave and put on her belly to relieve cramps,” u/spartanghost32 said. (Not only can I confirm that these things work great, but may be just the kind of cozy, childlike comfort that young people going through major life changes might appreciate.)
Don’t treat all pain as “normal”
While periods are often accompanied by labor pains, many commenters wanted to highlight the sad reality that pain in women and girls is often viewed as “normal” or “not that bad” when, in fact, it may be a sign of something bigger. A medical problem that requires more than standard treatments like hot compresses and Motrin.
“Hey dad, dad’s here,” u/RogueWedge wrote. “If your daughter is in severe pain (i.e. 2 ibuprofen tablets will do nothing for her) Notice And seek medical advice, as conditions such as endometriosis can be a problem.
Reddit user u/DowntownRow3 agreed.
“Too many people don’t know the general rule: If your period pain interferes with your daily activities, it’s time to see a doctor,” they wrote. “Everyone has bad days from time to time, but for the most part you should be able to go about your day.”
Encourage her to keep track of her period
While the comments were controversial about the best approach—some suggested using specific apps, some were wary of digital tracking—many urged the OP to encourage his daughter to track her cycle.
“A gentle reminder that your first few cycles may be irregular, which is completely normal,” u/TulipSandra said. “So maybe add a calendar along with period tracking app suggestions to help her spot patterns. Regardless of the method, tracking will give her more confidence and better control over her cycle in the long run.
Others recommend tracking her symptoms (bloating, diarrhea, cramps, spotting, etc.) as well so that she can better understand what’s normal for her and more easily spot what’s not normal.
“Hygiene products” are more than just pads and tampons
In addition to menstrual products, people have offered suggestions for other items that can help manage period confusion. Several commenters suggested making sure every bathroom in the house has a trash can. Others recommend having wet wipes and hand sanitizer on hand.
Many savvy Reddit users have pointed out that hydrogen peroxide, or hand sanitizer and cold water if necessary, is great for removing blood stains. (Which: spoilersit’s bound to happen at some point, especially with a kid who’s still getting the hang of how to deal with her period.
Others have also noted that it’s important to first understand the rules for how to handle historic items.
“Also remind her not to flush baby wipes, pads or tampons,” @jrp317 said.
Remember, small kindnesses can make a big difference
Many were quick to suggest little sweet treats (“My dad… added ‘period chocolate’ to the shopping list,” recalls u/Faerie42. “I get it every month…”), who is adamant that chocolate is almost Can solve all problems.
“This is special,” said u/EmotionalBase4531. “Give her a cake, a Barbie or some nice clothes, or a basket full of things she likes. She wants to remember that this was a beautiful moment in her life. Not scary.
Honestly, we love seeing a community, even an online one, working together to make a young person’s rite of passage smooth, comfortable, and even memorable. Good job, Dad! I definitely don’t say this every day, or even often, but great job, Reddit!
