I’ve seen Beetlejuice Countless times. Tim Burton’s 1988 classic black comedy was so beloved that it spawned a sequel 36 years later and has a legion of adoring Lydia Deetz fans. She can quote all of Catherine O’Hara’s iconic lines (“I’m going crazy”) and I’ll take you with me! Role. But look, every movie has a villain, and while Beetlejuice seems to be the scariest villain in the movie—he Do After all, try marrying Lydia against her will – I’m going to be honest: there’s a villain in the world Beetlejuicethis is Jane, the real estate agent.
Even with the Sandworm being the most ghostly of all, and Orso hosting séances and using Adam and Barbara to disintegrate in front of everyone, no one is more cruel than Jane. She’s a small character – so small, in fact, that you might have trouble figuring out who I’m talking about – but she’s so pathetic that even I, a kid who watched this movie when I was six or seven, knew she was bad news .
If you need a refresher, we see Jane in the first few minutes of the movie, when she shows up uninvited at the home of Adam and Barbara Maitland as they embark on a sweet staycation. She almost barged in, ruined their alone time, and became a pest. She wants to know if they’re ready to sell their house (which, by the way, they love and actually vacationed at home for a week because they wanted to hang out and do all the house stuff) because she’s ready Send pictures to people. “Please don’t send people pictures of our house,” Barbara had to tell the woman, and Jane still didn’t miss a beat.
Instead of apologizing for crossing the line, she doubled down and insisted that Barbara and Adam didn’t actually need the house at all because it was more “suitable for a family.” Barbara and Adam have no children.
Gee, right?
Things get worse. Judging from Barbara’s reaction (which she later told Adam), it was clear to the Maitlands think The kids…they wanted a bunch of little babies running up and down the stairs and knocking Jane to the ground like golden retriever puppies. But for whatever reason, it hasn’t happened to them yet, and the scariest thing is that Jane obviously knows it. She saw Barbara’s face when she said this home was better suited for a family and she tried to back out, insisting she didn’t mean it, the whole fake exercise.
Who does this? At this point, it’s well-known not to ask someone when they’re going to have a baby or how their family planning is going. But straight up insisting someone sell their beloved home – so she can get the commission! – Because they don’t have kids, which is so weird. I didn’t like this woman as a child, but it’s even scarier when I look at her as an adult. Like, who the hell does she think she is?
Give me a million sandworms bursting through my front door before I spend a minute with Jane. Throw this mean, greedy, horrible woman into the waiting room with the guy with the shrunken head. Because even though she was acting like a horrible person, she had the absolute audacity to sell the house shortly after the Maitlands’ funeral. Then this woman lied! She tells the Dietz’s that she decorated the home single-handedly, and as if we didn’t see Barbara with the wallpaper, she was excited to decorate her nest like the one she already had. Honestly, I’d love to see Beetlejuice mess around in her house for a while, maybe shrink her down to model size and let her find her way out.
In this day and age, Jane would be the MLM #BossQueen. She’ll offer you supplements after you lose your job, trying to convince you that your infertility can be solved by advertising green drinks on Instagram. She is a disingenuous liar who makes you feel bad about yourself while portraying herself as a pleasant lady who is friends with everyone.
Feed her to the sandworms. Let her float in the purgatory behind that creepy door. Make her Otto’s assistant, allowing him to humiliate a worthy target every day.
This movie should really be called Jane. She is the scariest part.
