People all over the world unite! But the premise is that it is not too troublesome. if you don’t want to zero Worry. I shouldn’t have brought this up to you without checking in first. I’m sorry. How are you? Are we okay? are you mad at me? sorry!
Okay: joke over, but no doubt this resonated with some of you. Being overly sensitive to whether someone is angry with you is a common trait, but have you ever wondered where it comes from? TikTok user Maggie Nick (@maggiewithperspectacles), a licensed social worker and trauma therapist who specializes in “inner child rehabilitation,” has a theory…
“Then why are you so afraid of making other people angry? Why do you say, ‘Are you angry with me?’ ! “…Always? I’m telling you. This is a truth bomb, so please hold my hand while I tell you this,” she began. “It’s about not having anyone get mad at you, but at the same time make you feel like they love you.”
She explains that through words or actions, parents can make their children feel unloved when they are upset, either by giving them the silent treatment, withdrawing and withholding love and affection, or by saying things like, “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed in you.” . (“It’s not a shameful grenade,” she noted wryly.)
“And then I think the last line that was so profound was ‘I love you, but I don’t like you right now,'” she said. “But when we become attachment figures for our children and put something like that in their developing brains, they won’t be able to think critically and see the nuance. They’ll hear ‘You don’t love me.
“Your life experience with anger is that it’s not good for you. That person loves you one minute, and then when they’re angry, they don’t care about you. You have no value or worth to them. Not only do they I don’t love you, I hate you,” she said before finishing. “So of course you’re afraid of making people angry.”
TikTok users were quick to agree with what Nick had to say.
“My dad gives me the silent treatment for unpredictable periods of time when I make him angry,” one comment read. “I didn’t care. I tried my best to make amends, (he was a major gaslighter – and when I realized that, I was devastated.”
“My mom would look me right in the face and say ‘I have to love you, but I don’t have to like you. No, I don’t really like you right now,'” recalled the second time. “It cracks me up every time.”
And, heartbreakingly, “I heard all of them, and every one of them still hurts when you say it.”
Unfortunately, we can’t change our childhood. But maybe by understanding them better, we can move forward in a way that helps heal our inner child. We also have the opportunity to raise our children differently.
