These Weird Child Behaviors Can Actually Help Regulate Your Child

“My 6-year-old loves squeezing,” says Amanda Ponzar of Alexandria, Virginia. “He used to pinch the flabby armpits of every woman he met: me, his grandma, his teacher.” Sometimes he would accidentally squeeze too tight, and sometimes he would squeeze a stranger. “I always apologized for him, and his father punished him,” Ponzal said. “We don’t know why he did it.”

Erin Haskell’s daughter is a rock singer. “Since Molly was two years old, she would lie down with her hands clasped on her chest and rock back and forth for 20 minutes before falling asleep. I didn’t know what to do,” Haskell said. . “I was so worried that I didn’t mention it until she was eight years old when she was visiting.”

I? I have a mouth and I’m always growling at my oldest to take any part of a lego, remote control, or deconstructed action figure out of his mouth. And he’s not a baby – far from it. He’s approaching his teenage years, but still has Legos in his mouth. your child? Maybe they’re constantly fiddling with their backpack Beanie Boo or sniffing old stuffed animals, or they circle around for too long and make you uncomfortable.

These quirks are usually harmless signs that your child is becoming more familiar with the world around them. Here’s everything you need to know about four of the most useful behaviors for children.

Common weird behaviors in children

Although these “quirks” often leave parents confused, irritated, embarrassed, and justifiably concerned, there’s really nothing to worry about. “Today, if you search for ‘wobbly,’ you might land on a website about mental illness. Or you describe some strange behavior on a parenting board, and the next thing you know, a ‘helpful’ mom is diagnosing Your mental illness. Raising Sensually Smart Children.

While no one wants to go back to a time when parents didn’t recognize early symptoms of neurological differences, there’s no doubt that the pendulum has swung to the other extreme, shocking some average weirdo kids.

Research shows that up to 70 percent of typically developing children engage in repetitive and seemingly purposeless movements, such as leg shaking, nail biting, or hair twirling. Not only are these quirks typical (hello, adults don’t do at least one of these things), but kids have them for a reason: they’re a way to self-regulate their senses.

“Once you understand what your child is doing, why he is doing it, and the purpose of it, you will no longer see it as a strange habit but as a purposeful behavior,” Amanda says Bennett, MD, a developmental pediatrician.

Here are four of the most common quirks.

suck something

“Children tend to use their mouths, chew and suck, probably because their mouths are less sensitive,” says Bill. In other words, your shirt sucker may reduce oral sensory sensitivity, requiring more oral input to meet this need. “For these children, this opening of the mouth likely releases feel-good, soothing neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, which help them feel calmer, less bored, and more engaged,” Beer explains. .

Children with “big mouths” tend to be those who drool after infancy, have delayed speech or eat irregularly, Bell said. “They often have trouble mastering precise movements of their lips and mouth because they can’t process these touches like other children.”

While these behaviors are usually harmless, if your child’s chewed food poses bacterial growth, a choking hazard, or is otherwise harmful, you’ll need to brainstorm and redirect. For example, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, thumb or finger sucking that continues after the age of 2 to 4 years can affect the shape of a child’s mouth or lead to orthopedic problems such as overbites.

“When I catch my 10-year-old daughter mindlessly chewing on a necklace or pen cap while watching TV, I try to remember to hand her a piece of gum rather than snap at her to stop,” Dr. Bennett says. “Chewing gum fulfills the same oral need, which may be why many progressive schools now allow children to chew gum in class.”

Swing and spin

While there may seem to be a world of difference between a child who is rocked to sleep and a child who is spun around after a long day at school, this is not the case. Both work to push fluids, hairs and tiny calcium carbonate crystals in the inner ear that make up the vestibular system, which monitors movement and balance, said Dr. Lucy Jane Miller, clinical director of the STAR Sensory Research Institute. , Greenwood Village, Colorado.

Children who are born with rocking, spinning, swaying, or bouncing may have a vestibular system that requires more movement than most children because they have less than average sensitivity to stimuli. What’s the key to these quirks? Know when enough is enough.

“There’s something called an inverted U-shaped curve,” Dr. Miller said. “As children spin, their arousal increases and their ability to stay calm and focused increases. That is, until they reach the top of the curve, arousal continues to increase but performance decreases.”

Overuse can cause immediate and delayed sensory overload. “It’s important to work with your child (and possibly an occupational therapist) to determine the top of the curve,” Dr. Miller says. For example, you might want to limit the spinner to one revolution per second, no more than 10 revolutions, and then switch directions.

“Stop and restart is good for children because it provides the most information to the vestibular receptors, which process motor information,” Beer says. It’s also wise to have special toys in your home that meet your child’s sensory needs, such as a rocking horse. , Swinging Rody Rider, Dizzy Disc Jr. or Sit ‘n Spin.

While Molly is still waddling and ready for bed (she suppresses her quirks during sleepovers), her mom jokingly wonders if Molly will waddle into college and beyond. Most likely, she won’t. As rockers and spinners age, their habits change.

“One of my young clients was a bouncer and bed roller, and she ended up going to college on a riding scholarship,” Beal said. “Like many children, she turned to sports, which provided her with a wealth of systemic sensory input, including stimulation of the vestibular system, deep pressure, and joint compression.” In addition to horseback riding, activities such as gymnastics and swimming can have similar effects.

sniff something

My kid is a sniffer too. He carries a stuffed duck with him from start to finish. He snuggled the old bird to his nose and took a deep, yogic breath. Bill was not surprised by my son’s continued love for his lover. “Did he do it when he was sleepy or upset?” she asked me. Yes, yes.

“Smell is a sensory system that is directly connected to the limbic system, which is the brain’s emotion, memory and pleasure center,” Beer said. “It’s all about association, and children often smell something that evokes good memories that they feel comforted by.”

These soothing scents can help children feel safer or relaxed enough to encourage sleep. When you think about it, we all have some vintage scents that we use for some kind of olfactory embrace. “That’s why real estate agents use the smell of apple pie to help sell homes,” Beal said. “It’s just that some kids are looking for more sensory information than others; they’re less sensitive and sometimes look for smells that are traditionally unpleasant, like Play-Doh or crayons.”

restless

“Touching, feeling, squeezing, poking, hair-twisting, and all other similar forms of fidgeting create sensations that satisfy a child’s desire for touch and, often, a very specific type of small movement,” Dr. Miller said. Needs. Research shows that the body releases the feel-good neurotransmitter oxytocin when the fingers and hands make tactile seeking movements, such as repeatedly touching a soft tag or gently stroking the hair.

In addition to its calming effect, fidgeting can help children focus. “We know that all children move more during mentally challenging activities than during less challenging activities,” said Michael J. Kofler, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Florida State University in Tallahassee, Florida. “Children stimulate their brains through small movements. For some children, especially those with ADHD, fidgeting helps their brains stay active and enhances working memory.”

However, the once popular fidget spinner actually played the opposite role. “When children use fidget spinners in the classroom, they are actually more distracted,” Dr. Kovler said.

When to ask for help

If your child’s behavior interferes with their daily functioning—for example, they’re so bothered by noise that they hate recess or won’t ride the school bus—it could be a sign of a sensory processing disorder, says Dr. Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Occupational therapist. Children with the disorder are unable to respond appropriately to signals from their senses, while those with typical quirks have found ways to self-regulate.

If you’re concerned, talk to your child’s pediatrician, who can refer you to an occupational therapist for strategies. Remember: It’s okay if you’re embarrassed by your child’s quirks.

“This is a real feeling that parents experience,” Dr. Miller said. “We want our children to fit in, and we don’t want others to judge them.” While the quirks themselves may not be a big deal to the child, you may find that when someone like a caregiver or teacher tries to stop the child’s behavior , the child’s frustration will intensify.

So before you do this, ask yourself: Is my child embarrassed? If not, and the quirk doesn’t interfere with other aspects of life, ignore it and know that other kids have their sensory needs met too. A bit like an adult who likes to chew and decides to eat gum instead of putting Legos in his mouth.