We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village!” Hearing this can be infuriating for a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons this statement is so irritating to new parents is that we know it’s basically true, but it’s nearly impossible to pull off.
Sometimes, we are so desperate for help that we seek support from relatives with whom we may not even have the best relationship—blurring the lines and creating more Putting pressure on ourselves.
One mom (@nnelly.co on TikTok) wants us all to know we don’t have Possessing what she calls a bloody village. She said we don’t even need a village and we’ve proven that time and time again.
“You know it doesn’t take a village, right?” she said.
“Like, we all get it now, right? It’s just those bitter old women trying to muscle their way into your life and tell you it takes a village. It doesn’t. It takes a lot of sacrifice. If you want To have a village, just know that it is not necessarily related by blood.
She went on to share that when she was a new mom, she thought she needed to call in reinforcements to help.
“In the beginning, I was under the impression that I should have a village. So, I just tried to follow what everyone told me should happen. These people were causing more stress than us raising these kids ourselves,” she said.
“Mind you, we have three kids, eight, seven, six, and they all play different sports, school activities, etc. And it’s a lot easier for us to do it on our own than to have that blood village come and help. Because. There are rules to that bloody village. I’d rather not have that bloody village and create my own little village of friends that I can rely on to help pick up my kids or babysit or call in when I need help.
“Those people are there for you because they care about you. That bloody village, that village of using things against you, trying to control the situation as they watch your kids over your head. Fuck it! No thanks .
She said she would rather spend her money on paid child care than accept favors from her family.
She continued, “I’d rather pay for child care. I’d rather turn to my friends. This village is not for everyone. I’m pretty sure this village is disappearing. What raising children really requires is sacrifice, a lot of time, money, Energy and love. You don’t need a village. To all you old bitches in my comments, it’s a privilege to be a part of this world.
After her video gained attention, several users commented on it, agreeing with her sentiments.
“OMG, this is so true. Throughout this pregnancy, my in-laws said I would be happy to assist. Not once did they ask if we needed help or even reach out to see how we were doing,” one said one user.
Another netizen wrote: “I agree. My family will help me and then say bad things about me behind my back. So I would rather raise my children by myself so that my children will be happier.”
One user chimed in, “Sometimes your village just consists of you and your spouse. You always find a way to make things work without anyone else to rely on.
