As a parent, navigating the wild world of puberty and body changes isn’t necessarily the easiest, most straightforward part of parenting.
One mom recently took to Reddit to ask if she should buy her 9-year-old a training bra, saying she doesn’t “need it” yet.
The mom explained that her fourth-grade child had been “begging” her to buy a training bra, but she felt she was hesitant to buy because her daughter’s breasts haven’t developed yet. She also noted that her daughter is an only child and may feel and act a little more mature than her age due to being constantly around adults.
“She’s so skinny, she doesn’t even have breasts! It’s just her and me, so I feel like sometimes she acts more mature than she really should because she spends a lot of time with adults. She’s always asking me what I was very open to all her questions when it came to getting my period and other things she saw me having and had no problem answering. I was just worried that she wanted to grow too fast and wearing a training bra would reinforce that. It’s okay to do things early,” she wrote.
“But maybe it’s not a big deal? She saw some of her girlfriends with them because they started getting small boobs and actually needed them, so I understand that side of things. Maybe I’m just overthinking it? Just asking for advice from parents who have been through this phase!
After her post gained traction, a commenter reminded the OP that even if she doesn’t feel like her daughter “needs” a bra, she might feel more comfortable wearing one, especially when she’s changing in gym class or other activities around her.
“When I was in fourth grade, I wanted a bra, but my mom wouldn’t buy it for me because I was flatter than average,” one person shared. “I wanted one because all the other girls had one and I was so uncomfortable when we were changing to go to gym class. I’m 37 now and I still think, my mom could just buy me a bra and that would be it Save me the embarrassment. A training bra is better than nothing.
“My daughter is definitely skinny and flat and has been wearing a training bra for months,” another added. “I realized that while none of her friends may have gone through puberty, they were doing it while playing sports and dancing. Both wear them under shirts and my daughter wants to blend in. It still seems weird to me that she wears them, but if it makes her feel like she blends in then so be it. She is also 9 and about to go. Fourth grade.
“I definitely agree with that,” echoed another. “I’m not even enough at my age to wear a training bra, but whether I can or not, other girls are wearing them when they go to the gym to change and I’m not, and it’s super embarrassing. I think you’re overthinking it.
Others note that while she may not be fully developed yet, the process of breast development may cause pain or soreness when rubbing against the fabric of her shirt, and a training bra may help.
In the latest update, the OP noted that she had ordered some training bras for her daughter, adding, “I love my daughter and my most important job is to raise her into a child who is confident, kind, and most importantly, happy. young women.
In response to another user, she noted, “I tell her about life every chance I get because just like you, I don’t have anyone to do it for me.”
“Thank you all for your advice and sharing your personal experiences, it’s been good for me! I didn’t expect this post to get so many comments, it’s obvious I was overthinking it,” she wrote.
“I bought my daughter some bras on Amazon last night before we talked and I was talking to her over dinner and she wanted padded training bras. We discussed all the reasons and I let her know that I Reason for initial hesitation! Then I googled padded training bras and she picked out some really cute ones! Everyone was right and it obviously made her feel confident and excited at the end of the day. Something that really matters. Thank you all!
This is healthy, positive mother-daughter love. We love seeing it!
