No one wants to see their child unhappy. A big frowning face. The puppy was in tears! Stop it, now! What’s worse than hearing these words: “No one loves me.”
Your first reaction to hearing something like this might be to start comforting your child, but one mom says that might not be the best solution.
Mandy Grass, known on Instagram as @thefamilybehaviorist, is a mother of three, a parenting coach and behavior analyst. Glass took to her account to share how she treated her daughter, saying she felt like no one loved her, and gave her followers some advice on how to deal with it.
When her 5-year-old daughter first started saying, “No one loves me,” Glass would assure her, certainly She is loved. However, she soon realized that she was just reinforcing the behavior.
“I have three daughters, so it’s very important to me that I don’t teach them to laugh at themselves for attention,” Glass explains. “So I realized what I was doing was teaching my daughter to talk about herself in negative ways to get my attention.”
Instead, Glass explains, she creates space for her daughter to share what’s really bothering her and then directly comforts her.
“I’d say, ‘Obviously you have some strong feelings. When you’re ready to talk, you can tell me I’m ready,'” she said.
A few weeks later, her daughter told her she was jealous that Glass had a dance party with other children while she was in the shower. To be honest, there is relatability.
“It’s going so well that my middle was able to say to me this summer, ‘I don’t think you’re paying attention to me,'” Glass said. “Now, listen, we have to work on it, you three and me, all this good stuff, but I’m going to take her and talk her through how she feels, and then come up to me and tell me straight up what she needs-” Cao imitated an exaggerated pout.
“I don’t want to pout anymore,” she continued. “I want her to say how she feels. In this case, I want her to have the ability to come to me and let me know how she feels and I can adjust accordingly.
Grass’ suggestion appears to be popular, with more than 33,000 likes since it was posted last month. In the comments, some netizens expressed support.
“Love this, reinforces that our job is not just to make them feel better, but to teach them to interpret and effectively express their feelings❤️❤️❤️,” one user said.
“This fits with what I’m dealing with right now – I also have 3 girls and my inner self is always talking negatively to myself, so I can’t wait to implement this and help her better learn how to identify and express How you feel,” said another.
Some users shared the impact that seeking validation from negative self-talk had on them growing up, and praised Glass for educating children at a young age.
“My daughter doesn’t pout, I do. As an adult, please be aware,” one user shared. “I had some therapy in my twenties that allowed me to grow emotionally. I still know grown women who pout and ask for attention (or please). It’s just how we grow. I love it You learn your daughter in other ways!
it can be so It’s hard not to immediately comfort your grieving child. But next time, maybe try Glass’s tips—you might prevent bad habits from forming in the long run.
