When to tell people you’re pregnant, experts say

Whether you found out you were pregnant five minutes ago or five weeks ago, you may be wondering when is the best time to tell the other people in your life the life-changing news. Frankly, there is no right or wrong time, it just depends on what feels most comfortable for you. That said, you may be concerned about the risks associated with early pregnancy, or you may want to adhere to cultural and social norms regarding timing – all of these factors can influence when you announce your pregnancy.

To help you make a more informed decision, we talked to a mental health doctor and a professional midwife about what to consider before announcing your pregnancy and the pros and cons of announcing sooner rather than later.

When to tell friends and family you’re pregnant

When to tell others you’re pregnant is a personal decision. Some may want to do it immediately, while others may think it’s best to wait. Sarah Baroud, LICSW, a licensed independent clinical social worker who specializes in perinatal mental health, says you start by measuring the nature of the relationships in your life.

“Some expectant parents feel comfortable sharing early with close family and friends because they know they are the ones they can rely on if they experience a miscarriage,” Baroud said.

Additionally, you need to be prepared for questions and unwanted comments when telling family and friends.

“You are a parent now, and other people are going to have their own thoughts and ideas about what you should do, but you have to be the one to choose what’s best for you and your family,” Rebecca Musta, certified professional midwife Rebekah Mustaleski said.

In addition to figuring out when to tell friends and family you’re pregnant, Mustaleski encourages expectant parents to think about how and when to tell others.

“You can tell people individually – some people tell loved ones they’re pregnant via video chat or bringing gifts – or you can send a group announcement to a lot of people at once,” she said. “You’re the one who decides the right approach.”

When to publicly announce your pregnancy

If you’re trying to decide when to tell acquaintances, co-workers, or announce your pregnancy on social media, well, that’s your decision and there’s no right or wrong way to announce it. According to the American Pregnancy Association, many people wait until the statistics for maintaining a healthy pregnancy are in their favor before taking action.

On the other hand, some expectant parents may be more eager to share the news publicly, whether on social media or in person. In some cases, you may have no choice when physical symptoms start to become more noticeable, such as if you have severe morning sickness or fatigue, or if you start to act out.

“For intended parents who have gone through a challenging pregnancy (i.e. miscarriage, infertility, surrogacy, egg or sperm donation, medical issues), they may feel wary about sharing this news because it is intertwined with other factors. Together,” Baroud said. “On the other hand, they might feel so happy and relieved that they’ve reached this stage that they’re happy to share right away – it’s really a personal decision.”

Medical factors to consider

There are also medical factors to consider when announcing a pregnancy. Studies show that 10 to 25 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, 80 percent of which end in the first trimester. This means that an estimated 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage in her lifetime.

“If you’ve experienced a heartbreaking loss like this, you know how difficult it can be to have well-meaning people come up and ask you about your pregnancy while you’re still grieving the loss of your child,” Mustaleski said. . “Because the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly after 12 weeks of pregnancy, some couples choose to wait until then to share the news.”

What is the 12-week rule?

Speaking of waiting for the announcement, the concept of the “12-week” rule has to do with the decreased risk of miscarriage at 12 weeks. The March of Dimes also states that approximately 80% of miscarriages occur before 12 weeks (the first three months of pregnancy).

“That’s a big reason why many people are waiting at least 12 weeks to share the news,” Baroud said. “Additionally, the first trimester of pregnancy is often difficult both physically and emotionally for the person giving birth, so the excitement and sharing of the experience may be the least of their concerns.”

At the end of the day, you are the one who is pregnant, and the decision to announce (or not) is entirely in your hands. Discuss your options with your partner and come up with a plan that works for both of you.