The true sign of an epic Halloween movie is one you can’t help but watch year-round, holiday etiquette be damned. For me, that honor belongs to the 1993 classic trickThe story revolves around three witch sisters and their attempts to suck the youth (and souls) of innocent children. So, you know, the typical Halloween kids movie type. Growing up, I watched this movie religiously and can quote every line in its entirety. (Honestly, I probably still can.) I even convinced two of my friends to spend a Halloween with me dressed as the Sanderson sisters. Needless to say, I was obsessed. However, despite its incredible attributes, there is one aspect of the film that I feel proves to be the biggest downfall for many of the characters: brothers and sisters.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. This is very controversial and, how dare you? Brothers and sisters can be incredible gifts—an immeasurable, sacred bond worth cherishing for a lifetime. You are absolutely right. Siblings can be awesome (or so I’m told). As an only child, I admit that I sometimes longed for a sibling… someone to share secrets with, shirk responsibility from, or look up to. So, trust me, I totally get it. But from a kid’s perspective, I remember watching this movie and thinking, Man, the siblings sure do look like they have a lot of work! In some ways, I’m grateful to be an only child.
Before you start handing out torches and pitchforks, let me explain.
They always need protection
From the beginning of the film, we see Thackeray Binks running into the woods, putting himself in danger when his sister Emily is lured to the Sanderson sisters’ cabin. Obviously, it’s a heroic thing to do and it clearly shows how much he loves his sister, which is pretty sweet. But I remember as a child feeling almost a little guilty of Emily – not because of her own abduction (we later witness the hypnotic power of Sarah’s singing ability), but for her actions afterwards. Unlike Dany, who fought back every time a witch tried to harm her, Emily seemed to just resign herself to her fate. Even when Thackeray comes to save her, she takes no action to help or attempts to escape, which leads to her death and Thackeray’s curse of turning into a cat. Kelly Elementary School doesn’t think Thackeray’s bravery was duly rewarded.
Jump ahead 300 years into the future and the sibling dynamic remains the same. Max has been trying to protect his sister Danny from the witches. He gets electrocuted by Winifred, attacked by zombies (who turns out to be a good guy, but still!), and even drinks the life potion himself so he can’t give it to Danny. (Vinnie did absorb some of his life force before turning to stone, so does that mean he wouldn’t have lived that long?! We’ll never know. But that’s a theory for another time.)
The bottom line here is that protecting your siblings seems like a big hassle, and I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it as an only child.
They are good at dealing with embarrassment
Dani is amazing in so many ways, but honestly, when it comes to her brother’s privacy or his social status in school, this girl DNGAF. In fact, her first scene has her hiding in Max’s closet, and she suddenly appears when Max starts pretending his pillow is his new crush at school, Allison. I cringe at the thought of someone interrupting me in such a private moment. If that wasn’t bad enough, she went on to tell Alison that her brother liked her Yabo. I still feel second-hand embarrassment when I think about it now. Not to mention, she spouted nonsense about her brother being a virgin to anyone who would listen! Granted, I had no idea what a virgin was at the time, but I knew Max would get pissed off every time it was brought up.
To top it off, Danny deliberately pissed off two guys who bullied Max and stole his shoes. This leads to a confrontation that makes Max look weak (he gives them candy so they’ll leave) and causes a group of his classmates to laugh at him. No wonder he was angry with her. When I was a kid, this all sounded like my worst nightmare coming true, and I didn’t want to be a part of it.
they never listen
Make no mistake, though—Max has his share of flaws, proving that older siblings can be just as troublesome. After all, he was responsible for bringing Sister Sanderson back in the first place. Danny warns him not to light the Black Flame Candle, but he doesn’t listen. Look at all the trouble that comes with it! I mean, of course, he thinks it’s just a stupid superstition (or rather, “just a bunch of trick”), but still. Why take the risk, man?
It’s just as bad as Danny disobeying Max and leaving the protective circle of the cemetery’s salt tomb to retrieve Billy’s head for him. (He’s an adult zombie, girl! He can get his own head. Worry about protecting yourself!)
All in all, young Kelly always walked away so many, many, many times with two main thoughts: 1.) What exactly is a virgin? 2.) Maybe being an only child is best.
