Habits are sometimes hard to form. Who among us doesn’t struggle with maintaining a good sleep schedule? Or keep exercising every day? Or maintain a stable “housework schedule”? (*Raises hand three times.*) But some habits are easy to form…especially if we’re not paying attention.
Take unhealthy relationship habits, for example. This happens even in happy, healthy partnerships. That’s right, folks, we’re talking about invisible labor, specifically how TikTok founder Courtney (@cd._.ve) is looking for her future, and maybe we should all take notes.
Kourtney explained that she recently moved in with her fiancé and she couldn’t be happier about their future. However, she continued:
“It’s very important to me that I don’t become the default person for everything in this house, or the default person for future kids, or just have him be a lazy version of me because I do things for him all the time and then things It became like this.
So when Courtney’s fiancé asked her to wrap his mother’s birthday present for him, a problem arose. Of course, in and of itself, this isn’t a particular requirement. Couples always do things for each other! But at the moment, Courtney is wary of the idea of a preset mission, and she refuses.
She could tell he was upset by her rejection, but ultimately felt it was more important and beneficial to the relationship to set a precedent now and start as a common-law partner “so I wouldn’t be taken advantage of.” purchase A gift for his mom, think about what to give her for Christmas and wrap it. And then with kids, same thing with dogs…it just becomes a spiraling situation that I don’t want to be a part of.
Although it was successful in the end, it was a bit bumpy in the end. Courtney directed her fiancé through her gift wrapping materials, but he wasn’t happy, “huffing and puffing while doing it,” complaining that it would look better if she did it for him.
“I just felt like I was raising him gently and saying ‘No! That looks great! You did a great job!
She said this red line came from years of listening to women who were married to men, including her own grandparents.
“If I start doing something like this for him now, it will never end,” she predicted.
As Kourtney predicted, many women in the comments cheered her on, with many telling her that “that’s how it started” from experience.
“I always say ‘I’m good at this task because I’ve done it’,” reads the most popular comment. “‘You learn to become good through experience.'”
“Just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I enjoy doing it,” another pointed out.
“My mother made us do labor trade,” a third chimed in. “‘Do you want me to wrap the presents? Well, you go fold the laundry and empty the dishwasher, and I’ll do that task for you, because that’s what I do.
Not everyone is enthusiastic about Courtney’s approach.
One said: “Why go to all this trouble… This is why men and women are not equal… Men are good at something, we are good at it, and then we come together.”
Among the comments with the most replies on the post,
“Why do you still have a wife at this time?” (You will be happy to know that this man is what the children call “dirty”…)
In a follow-up video, she summed it up succinctly: “The point is: women are Tired. We’re tired of being the default for everything, it’s time for men to step up.
