Blended families can be complex. I would know; as a stepmom, there is definitely a delicate way to navigate relationships, especially with your stepchildren and their biological families. Thankfully we’ve made it work over the years with very few issues, but that’s because of thoughtful conversations and consistent work that has kept our little blended family harmonious and happy.
A mom shares her experience as a stepmom, what her stepdaughter said about her when she was with her biological mother, and her thoughtful response in a viral video.
In the video, Ciayra Ray-Mcilwain captures her stepdaughter at various events and milestones expressing how much she misses her mom and asking Ray-Mcilwain to give her The bittersweet moment when mom sends a photo or video.
In one section of the scroll, her stepdaughter proudly announced that she had lost her first tooth and asked her to send her mom a photo. Ray McIlwain’s response was enthusiastic and encouraging: “Well, say cheese!”
In another scene at the water park, her stepdaughter says, “I had a lot of fun at the water park, but I miss my mom.” Ray McElwain responds, “I know you do that, and that’s okay It doesn’t matter.”
In her caption, she elaborated on her feelings, writing: “One of the hardest and most rewarding roles. This girl taught me strength and courage and I couldn’t imagine growing up without my mom, But watching her grow and thrive through it all blows my mind ❤️ #mom #stepmom #bonusmom #mother #momlife #instamom”
Since gaining attention, the video has attracted the attention of many parents, who praised the stepmother for her empathy and kindness in putting her children first in a mixed family dynamic.
“Not the stepmom, but the mom who stepped in,” one user wrote.
“You are the kind of woman who should be in our children’s lives,” wrote another.
One user shared: “As an involved mom whose daughter has a stepmom like you. I applaud you. You guys are handling this with such love and care. You are the one in her life. Bless her as she is a blessing in your life.
The 28-year-old stepmother told Newsweek that her relationship with her stepdaughter’s mother has had its ups and downs, but remains cordial when they meet.
“I used to try to keep her involved every step of the way, even when it was clear she wasn’t interested, but after years of hitting the wall, I’ve stopped communicating with our daughter unless she asks,” Ray McElwain said. Looks like her strategy worked!
